Valentine's Day

Well Valentine's Day came and went.  As with every event, I kind of have to hold my breath to see how Sean does with it.  He loves events, but comes up with expectations about them that can't always be met.

This year, he decided that he wanted to have a Valentine's party.  We discussed dates, me a little with trepidation, as things are busy around the house and I really didn't have much time for prep.  But I thought I'd see what exactly he had in mind.

So we began the discussion, firstly around dates.  We decided that the Sunday before Valentine's Day would be the best.  He wanted to have a couple of friends come over.  What would they be doing?  I asked.  He thought about it, and decided that they should all watch his steam engine for a bit, and then they could have Valentine treats, and then do some kissing.  (the backs of each other's necks of course; that's love in Sean's eyes)

Hmmmm.  This was not going to be simple.  Even without the neck kissing, I really didn't know who he was going to ask.  In the past he would make up invitations to things, and give them to select kids at school, but I don't think they ever took him seriously.  Partly because his events would be at odd times or celebrating odd things.  (Candle night). 

So this time, I watched to see what he'd do.  Sure enough, he did write out invitations (there are no RSVP's on his invites....you are just expected to come), and sure enough, he didn't give half of them out.  He wanted me to buy lots of Valentines treats, but we've been having behavioural difficulty with Sean when he gets into sweets, so I told him I was not going to do much in that line.  Argument #1 was about that.  Argument #2 was about how much decorating Mom was going to do, or rather how little, and Argument # 3 was about how Mom didn't buy candy canes at Xmas time for our guests then, like Sean had wanted.  (But I knew somebody would get into them).  He still harps at me about that one; I expect I shall have to listen to this for awhile; it's hard to turn him "off".

Anyhow, so he decorated up his steam machine, and one friend in the neighborhood came over on the Sunday aft, and they played games and watched the steam machine.  There was no kissing, and Mom did have a couple of minor treats.

This boy is a dear, he is bored out of his tree with some of Sean's activities but he still comes over because he knows it's important to Sean.

So that afternoon went fine, and then we come to the actual Valentine's Day.

He had cards to write, and so I set him all up with his class list and he spent a good amount of time, not only signing cards, but creating a little drawing stapled to each card, for each child.  He was being a little secretive, and I decided I wouldn't intrude at that moment, but had a look later, when he was getting ready for bed.

Sigh.

I had to pull a few of the drawings off.  He has his little pet names and phrases for each of the kids; some are harmless, some are a little rude, and some are just downright evil.  Sean being Sean, he doesn't care what anyone thinks of him, so the idea of "backlash" is not even on his agenda.  Most drawings had to do with various body parts, a "gooseneck", jaw, and other more private areas.  On another drawing he had added a fair bit of script along the lines of "I hate you and I hope you have a ruining Valentine's Day". 

I was in school the next day to do some volunteer work and came up to his classroom to deliver a gluten free treat for him, as they were having a party later on.  He said "Mom, what happened to my drawings?"  I played dumb because I didn't want to get into it there, but discussed it later with him at home.  Not that I got anywhere with it!  He still managed to write "I hate you" on one recipient's card, which she promptly ripped up and threw in the garbage.  I don't expect miracles here, but it would be nice if Sean understood that it's not always necessary to be up front about your feelings for someone, negative or positive.  Ah Autism, rearing it's ugly head.