On Sean

Sean is our middle child, our high functioning Autie.  That's a name that I picked up from some Autism chat group, and I like it.  I don't like saying he is Autistic, because that, for me, conjures up an image of a child very unlike our boy.  Yes, he does have a diagnosed condition of mild to moderate Autism.  Some days it's more moderate than mild, in my opinion.

The other night for example, he got himself into one of those endless loops.  I don't know if other Auties experience this, but he gets into a non-stop question mode, which he just can't get out of.  I'm okay with answering a kid's questions, but when the question is the same one, over and over again, it gets a little wearing.  He was asking me "Where did you hide the suckers?"  I am guilty of hiding them from him, because he has little self-control, and even though these were relatively healthy (no gluten, limited sugar, etc. etc.) I still found he would eat too many and get weird.  So away they went.

And no, I didn't tell him where they were. And he kept asking.  And asking.  I stopped answering early on the the 20 minutes and started telling him over and over that we were done.  Probably not the best strategy, so I switched into complete silence.  He only got more frustrated and started to swat at me.  I held him back, and then it came.....


"LET GO OF MY F___ING HAND!" And I was so startled that I did!

Our little Sean, with his ususual prosody of speech, his child-like tone, with a suddenly rather grown-up phrase erupting outof his mouth.  I know he hears it at school, but I guess I am somewhat relieved that at least he KNOWS it's a bad word, can distnguish between words that are OK to use and others that aren't.  It may seem like a simple concept, but not always to someone with Autism.

I'm not sure how I will handle it.  We didn't discuss it at the time, (bad timing when he's upset), and I expect I will bring it up with the behaviour consultant next time she is around.  It does make me realize how he is growing up. He is 10 now, and the next decade is going to bring some changes, hopefully not the hell that we went though in his first five years though.

I already notice a maturity with Evie, how he helps her, shows her things, and plays the big brother role.  He still teases her, hides toys and touches her eyelids (see photo in last post), but overall he has come a long way since she has joined our family.

He will always be our little guy, but we've got to also start making room for the young man that is emerging, swear words and all.