Picture taken during an EEG for Autism Studies at Queen's University.
Sean was very happy to participate!
But sometimes I do get a glimmering. With the help of the behaviour therapist that comes to see us periodically, I’ve begun to understand that a lot of Sean’s actions are based on his need to know exactly what is going on in his world, his box, we’ll call it.
For instance, when a new teacher was on recess duty at school, Sean’s antics increased. He was pushing other children, telling one girl she was fat (she is, but that isn’t the point), overall sorely testing that duty teacher’s patience. It was mentioned to me by his regular teacher, who was surprised that Sean would act up that way, since "he never does that with me". I had an "aha" moment though, after my discussions with the therapist regarding "the box", that Sean was just seeing how the new teacher fit into it. He needed to find out what that teacher’s boundaries were, so that he could incorporate it into his box of expected responses.
This also became apparent to me this morning, when I was getting his medicine/breakfast ready. He was on a chair behind me, noisily kissing the back of my neck, over and over again, not out of affection, but just to get a response. He constantly does this to Evie too, who screams nicely for him after the first kiss. However Mom wasn’t biting on the baited hook, and ignored him, so he got irritated and kept saying "Tell me to stop! Tell me to stop!". "Why?" I asked. "Because you’re SUPPOSED to!" Therein lies the key. I’m supposed to say the expected response, and then all is right in his world. He needs the guaranteed response to feel secure. It is an odd way of thinking but that is how the Autistic mind works.
I’m still figuring out how to use this knowledge with other problems that crop up between us, but this understanding is a start.
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