Those Frigging Balloons or Why I Hate Autism

Evie and I went to a baby shower recently, for the daughter of an old friend.  It was a nice outing, there were other children for her to hang with, snacks, and the best of all, balloons!  "Loons" are one of her favorite things.  So when we left, our hostess graciously let us take some with us.

The "loon" Evie is holding (and not letting go of for dear life) was one of the three we managed to get home (lost one along the way).

All fine and dandy, until we got home and Sean decided to take control of the balloons, attaching them to the stroller in the front hall, out of Evie's reach, but not out of her view!

*Big sigh from the Mummy*

"Sean, why can't you share these with Evie?"

But he was adamant.  OK, what did I do wrong here, and how could I have prevented this?  Because it just turned into a whole evening of nastiness.  I tried not to react, kept Evie away from the front hall, but more and more the entire family was getting irritated at each other (full moon) and by bedtime, I had had it.  Completely lost it with him, and I hate when I do that.  It serves little purpose, and he doesn't connect his attitude with the consequences.  Everyone is mad at him, he doesn't always know why.  Sometimes I suspect he DOES know, but once he gets on that track it's just so hard to get him off of it.

I sweep Evie off to bed (a fair bit of door slamming in the process) and think about how much I hate this disorder and what it does to our lives.

No easy answers.  What I do know is that Sean, unlike in past years, is now starting to react to our anger.  He actually looks upset when we yell at him now, and even says "why are you yelling at me?"  I am finding sometimes I can have a rational conversation with him about his behavour, after the fact, but at the time, it's just craziness.  Especially when I have a crying 2 year old in my arms, who doesn't understand why she can't have her "loons" when she wants them.

In the following days, Sean's obsession with hiding the balloons lessened, and Evie had her opportunity to drag them around the house without much family disturbance.

I sometimes wonder if these incidents will taint her for life....so far she has proven to be a pretty resilient little person.