Valentine's Day

Well Valentine's Day came and went.  As with every event, I kind of have to hold my breath to see how Sean does with it.  He loves events, but comes up with expectations about them that can't always be met.

This year, he decided that he wanted to have a Valentine's party.  We discussed dates, me a little with trepidation, as things are busy around the house and I really didn't have much time for prep.  But I thought I'd see what exactly he had in mind.

So we began the discussion, firstly around dates.  We decided that the Sunday before Valentine's Day would be the best.  He wanted to have a couple of friends come over.  What would they be doing?  I asked.  He thought about it, and decided that they should all watch his steam engine for a bit, and then they could have Valentine treats, and then do some kissing.  (the backs of each other's necks of course; that's love in Sean's eyes)

Hmmmm.  This was not going to be simple.  Even without the neck kissing, I really didn't know who he was going to ask.  In the past he would make up invitations to things, and give them to select kids at school, but I don't think they ever took him seriously.  Partly because his events would be at odd times or celebrating odd things.  (Candle night). 

So this time, I watched to see what he'd do.  Sure enough, he did write out invitations (there are no RSVP's on his invites....you are just expected to come), and sure enough, he didn't give half of them out.  He wanted me to buy lots of Valentines treats, but we've been having behavioural difficulty with Sean when he gets into sweets, so I told him I was not going to do much in that line.  Argument #1 was about that.  Argument #2 was about how much decorating Mom was going to do, or rather how little, and Argument # 3 was about how Mom didn't buy candy canes at Xmas time for our guests then, like Sean had wanted.  (But I knew somebody would get into them).  He still harps at me about that one; I expect I shall have to listen to this for awhile; it's hard to turn him "off".

Anyhow, so he decorated up his steam machine, and one friend in the neighborhood came over on the Sunday aft, and they played games and watched the steam machine.  There was no kissing, and Mom did have a couple of minor treats.

This boy is a dear, he is bored out of his tree with some of Sean's activities but he still comes over because he knows it's important to Sean.

So that afternoon went fine, and then we come to the actual Valentine's Day.

He had cards to write, and so I set him all up with his class list and he spent a good amount of time, not only signing cards, but creating a little drawing stapled to each card, for each child.  He was being a little secretive, and I decided I wouldn't intrude at that moment, but had a look later, when he was getting ready for bed.

Sigh.

I had to pull a few of the drawings off.  He has his little pet names and phrases for each of the kids; some are harmless, some are a little rude, and some are just downright evil.  Sean being Sean, he doesn't care what anyone thinks of him, so the idea of "backlash" is not even on his agenda.  Most drawings had to do with various body parts, a "gooseneck", jaw, and other more private areas.  On another drawing he had added a fair bit of script along the lines of "I hate you and I hope you have a ruining Valentine's Day". 

I was in school the next day to do some volunteer work and came up to his classroom to deliver a gluten free treat for him, as they were having a party later on.  He said "Mom, what happened to my drawings?"  I played dumb because I didn't want to get into it there, but discussed it later with him at home.  Not that I got anywhere with it!  He still managed to write "I hate you" on one recipient's card, which she promptly ripped up and threw in the garbage.  I don't expect miracles here, but it would be nice if Sean understood that it's not always necessary to be up front about your feelings for someone, negative or positive.  Ah Autism, rearing it's ugly head.

The Sweet Side of Sean

It's nice to have the sweet side of Sean show up, especially in regard to his sister.  So much of my day is involved with keeping him from teasing her, that these moments (see below) are really treasured.

I had to run out to answer the phone during our nightly reading and so left Sean to continue with Evie.  He did so willingly!!

Survived Another of Sean's Birthdays

There's always a little anxiety around Sean's birthday.  He never used to care, and that was sort of easy....just make him some sort of gluten-free dessert and he was fine.  We could give him presents, he might or might not care and that was it.

Before his 8th birthday he asked for a party.  So we organized something.  Since he doesn't have friends in the traditional sense, we asked 3 kids from another family from church/school over.  They know Sean and we figured they'd be pretty cooperative.

Sean just before his 8th birthday.

Skyler put together a mini-putt course in an empty apartment (since the weather was poor and we couldn't go out to a mini-putt course like I'd hoped).  We had a "schedule" of sorts, events to occur in a certain order, and so we started.

All was going well until Sean had trouble getting his ball through a difficult part of the mini-putt.  He started to get anxious, yelling at the other kids and it just escalated from there, till he got into a cardboard box for a bit.  I didn't think he'd leave it, and had to get him down to our apartment in order to feed the kids (whether Sean was going to participate or not).  Once downstairs he refused to come out for the meal and his cake, including the singing. 

The kids at the table having cake, sans Sean.

I can't remember what got him out, presents perhaps, but eventually he did venture forth out of the bedroom, and later even put together a book of drawings about it.

The next year, his 9th birthday, went a little better, but it was rushed planning.  We arrived home from China with baby Evie on Sept. 10, and had one day to organize a Sept. 12 party.  Again the Groenewoud kids came.  We did have some games and such, and all went pretty well, with no upsets.

Last year for number 10, Sean carefully prepared the schedule, and on the advice of some of my behavioural consultants, I also drew up a list of rules.  Sean thought they were for everyone else, but really they were for him.  "No crying or complaining" was the chief one I had in mind for him.  I really wanted him to understand that sometimes schedules have to change, and that he has to learn to adapt.

Overall this party went well too.  Sean was very involved in orchestrating everything, from the "cash desk" at the entrance (he charged his guests to come to the party; we donated the proceeds to Sunday school, but I don't think he knows that), to the formal intro meeting outlining the rules, to the timed-to-the-mnute games which he supervised but did not participate in.

Everyone was finding it amusing I think, and the time actually went pretty quickly.  We had a nice group out for the party, with no upsets.  (One little girl, whose aunt had brought her, was complimented on how good she had behaved....her response: "oh no we weren't allowed to cry; it was the RULES!")

The 2010 birthday guests.

So we come to this year.  I asked Sean way back in August if he wanted a party.  His response was non-committal ("I don't know"), so I said that if he couldn't make a decision, I was taking the easy way out and not planning one.  Closer to the day, I talked about having just a family dinner.  Easier said than done, as it turns out.

Bob's sister Cindy was due to arrive from Thunder Bay that day, but we had no idea at what time.  I had to get a gluten-free cake made, heaps of laundry done and put away, and beds changed.  I was quite busy in the morning, and planned to do a lot of this in the afternoon.  Just as I was getting ready to do the cake, the power went out.  A car had veered off the road near our house and hit two power lines.  Skyler and his buddy, out boarding, saw it happen and called 911.  The driver had had a seizure (was OK otherwise) and inside, I was having a seizure of a different sort....the cake had to be baked!!

So off I go to my sister's, who still had power, but had to bake the cake around her oven usage as she was in mid-dinner prep.  Then Bob phones that his sister has arrived, so I have to hit the store again and make sure we have enough.  Finally got home, still to heaps of laundry, and unmade beds, but nothing I could do about it at that point.  (I had also forgotten that he had a piano lesson... I mean I only remembered that about 3 days later!)

Sean in the meantime was wanting his birthday dinner.  Got that made, got everybody in for that, got the cake out, candles lit, cameras ready, Sean did the blowing out and cake served.  Whew I thought, we made it through another one. 

Sean and his decorations.  Not sure if Auntie Cindy looks impressed...

Sean blowing out table candles as well as the ones on his 1/2 chocolate, 1/2 vanilla cake.  Note the crystal bell in hand, used to announce a change in activity.

But then he mentioned presents, and I remembered I had a couple in the Shiatsu clinic.  Hauled them out, but by that point Something Had Gone Wrong and Sean threw them back in the hallway. 

Mind you I don't know What Went Wrong.  He just decided that things weren't going according to his preconceived ideas and so he didn't want the gifts.  They were put back in the clinic, where he knew they would keep till he was ready.  A couple of days later, he decided to start destroying them, making sure that I knew what he was doing, by walking by me and talking about the wrecking he was doing.  I eventually gave him the reaction that he wanted, which was that I noticed and got angry.  I mean, what is the point of my even trying to please him when he gets destructive and my money just ends up going down the drain?  It is an anomaly in him that I just don't get; when we try to get him something he'd like, he just can't seem to accept it.  It is one of the more sad and draining aspects of his Autism.

But there is hope.  Recently I was informed of some new funding that had come through for ABA (Applied Behavioural Analysis) training with Sean.  I spent quite a long time preparing a diagnostic report for him, collecting the results of the various university research projects he's been involved in, and getting it all sent off.  The other day I had an intake session with two therapists and learned more about the program.  It will be a blessing and very timely. 

Maybe by his 12th birthday we'll have some answers.

Sean and Emotions Training

After some Sean shenanigans at school last winter (wrecking other kids snowforts on the yard and filling in holes that they had dug, for instance), the powers that be finally decided that he should have some social skills training outside of the regular classroom.  I could only say hurray, because this is something that I feel has been lacking since he finished IBI (Intensive Behavioural Intervention) in 2006.

So a couple of times a week off Sean goes down to the Learning Resource Coach's office for a half hour one-on-one session.  They started with emotions, recognizing emotions in other people, which involved Sean learning essentially how to draw faces with those relevant expressions.

Something that I learned over the years was how children with Autism tend to look at a person's mouth, rather than their eyes, for clues as to what they're feeling.  Sean still focuses on the mouth, and I try to remind him to look at eyes and eyebrow position too.

I get updated from time to time on his progress, but he himself also tells me what's been going on, not through direct communication, but indirectly via his own processing.  Sean often likes to process new things in his world by duplicating events at home.  Hence, the Christmas concert, which had to be EXACTLY like the one at school, down to the practice routines ("don't hang your feet over the stage"), the Winter Carnival, and now, the Social Skills lessons.

Bob is the lucky participant of these.  Bob likes to call Sean his "slippery seal" when he comes out of the tub, and Sean decided that was an inappropriate comment, and that Bob had to now come to his "class".  He made out a schedule of dates and times (usually every weekend) and Bob has been dutifully going for lessons on drawing out emotions, appropriate things to say to people, and games encouraging social conversation.  So I know exactly what he is doing at school by the duplication at home.

(Bob is doing very well in his progress, except one day when Evie scribbled all over his work, and Sean marked it "0%, Lets Discuss").

Sean started out with his "office" in his bedroom but it got more and more cluttery, so I convinced him to move it over to the piano corner, since I had recently removed a settee and there was space.  So every weekend, he and Bob are over there.  Sean sets his alarm clock for a half hour, and lately Bob (and Sean calls him "Bob" during the sessions, Bob referring to Sean as "Mr. Cameron") has been allowed to bring a friend for the games.  This has actually been very good for Sean, as we always had a hard time getting him to join a group activity such as board games.  Bob has been bringing Evie along, which has worked out well for games that Evie likes, (Don't Spill the Beans, Hungry Hippos), not so well when the game is a little more complicated and she doesn't want to do what Sean says.  It's nice to see them all playing together.

But it has been the emotional training that has really been beneficial too.  Oh he still calls kids at school his funny names for them ("hey you have a bownka head", whatever that is) but not on the school grounds (just when we're leaving, and he hollers it out the window at some poor unsuspecting classmate), which is a bit of an improvement.  You learn, as a parent of an Autie, to celebrate the little incremental improvements, believe me.

This week has been a sad one at his school, as one of Sean's classmates passed away after 2 year battle with Leukemia.  He was not particularly close to her, although they shared the exact same birthday, and she was always nice to him, right from their first year together at that school, in Grade 1.  She hadn't been attending regular classes since early last fall, but Sean and his class as a group would communicate with her via Skype, as she was in isolation during her last treatments.

I didn't know how he would react to the sad classmates around him this week.  He gets uncomfortable with crying, and staves off the discomfort by laughing at the person crying.  Not great in any situation, but especially this one, so I had a few worries as he skipped off into school on Monday.  His EA gave me a good report at day's end; there had been one smirk, but one of his peers had put him straight, and then he was fine.  Later, we talked about it at home. 

He said he didn't feel sad about the girl's dying, but after some thought decided that he WOULD probably feel sad if his little girlfriend Ally wasn't there anymore, say if she switched schools.  I found his analysis of the situation interesting, firstly because he didn't ever analyze his emotions before, and secondly because he has obviously learned something from his Social Skills sessions.  His teacher there had said that when she asked Sean to think of a time that he was sad, he couldn't.  Happy yes, angry yes, sad no.  So obviously he was now trying to project himself into a situation where he might be sad, and seeing what that might feel like.

Way to go Sean.  We'll get there yet.  Maybe empathy is lurking below the surface too.

Sorry no pictures this post....my computer is stubborn today.

Milestone for Seanie

It was just over a week ago that we finally got Sean riding a bike!

He had always been resistant to learning, because it was a "new thing" and he probably wasn't sure how it would fit into his world.  But I decided that this year he was going to learn, and we were going to have to put the time in to achieve this goal.

Turns out there was very little time necessary to get the deed done!  Bob spent probably 10 minutes with him, holding the back of the seat for reassurance, before Sean was off on his own!  He was so proud of himself!  This is fairly rare to see, and so wonderful.

I think he was secretly wanting to try, but won't ever ask for anything he wants, and wouldn't just do it on his own, so when I suggested it (and I didn't really give him the option to say "no", just told him that Bike Lessons would begin at 11:00...he likes rules and schedules), he was ready to go for it.

And Evie joined Sean on her bike, too. (Which used to be his...)

Those Frigging Balloons or Why I Hate Autism

Evie and I went to a baby shower recently, for the daughter of an old friend.  It was a nice outing, there were other children for her to hang with, snacks, and the best of all, balloons!  "Loons" are one of her favorite things.  So when we left, our hostess graciously let us take some with us.

The "loon" Evie is holding (and not letting go of for dear life) was one of the three we managed to get home (lost one along the way).

All fine and dandy, until we got home and Sean decided to take control of the balloons, attaching them to the stroller in the front hall, out of Evie's reach, but not out of her view!

*Big sigh from the Mummy*

"Sean, why can't you share these with Evie?"

But he was adamant.  OK, what did I do wrong here, and how could I have prevented this?  Because it just turned into a whole evening of nastiness.  I tried not to react, kept Evie away from the front hall, but more and more the entire family was getting irritated at each other (full moon) and by bedtime, I had had it.  Completely lost it with him, and I hate when I do that.  It serves little purpose, and he doesn't connect his attitude with the consequences.  Everyone is mad at him, he doesn't always know why.  Sometimes I suspect he DOES know, but once he gets on that track it's just so hard to get him off of it.

I sweep Evie off to bed (a fair bit of door slamming in the process) and think about how much I hate this disorder and what it does to our lives.

No easy answers.  What I do know is that Sean, unlike in past years, is now starting to react to our anger.  He actually looks upset when we yell at him now, and even says "why are you yelling at me?"  I am finding sometimes I can have a rational conversation with him about his behavour, after the fact, but at the time, it's just craziness.  Especially when I have a crying 2 year old in my arms, who doesn't understand why she can't have her "loons" when she wants them.

In the following days, Sean's obsession with hiding the balloons lessened, and Evie had her opportunity to drag them around the house without much family disturbance.

I sometimes wonder if these incidents will taint her for life....so far she has proven to be a pretty resilient little person.

The Theory of Sean's Mind

Picture taken during an EEG for Autism Studies at Queen's University.

Sean was very happy to participate!

       I am constantly looking for insight into the Autistic mind. Sean, despite having excellent language abilities, still has actions that stymie me, and he can’t or won’t, always explain them either.


     But sometimes I do get a glimmering. With the help of the behaviour therapist that comes to see us periodically, I’ve begun to understand that a lot of Sean’s actions are based on his need to know exactly what is going on in his world, his box, we’ll call it.

     For instance, when a new teacher was on recess duty at school, Sean’s antics increased. He was pushing other children, telling one girl she was fat (she is, but that isn’t the point), overall sorely testing that duty teacher’s patience. It was mentioned to me by his regular teacher, who was surprised that Sean would act up that way, since "he never does that with me". I had an "aha" moment though, after my discussions with the therapist regarding "the box", that Sean was just seeing how the new teacher fit into it. He needed to find out what that teacher’s boundaries were, so that he could incorporate it into his box of expected responses.

     This also became apparent to me this morning, when I was getting his medicine/breakfast ready. He was on a chair behind me, noisily kissing the back of my neck, over and over again, not out of affection, but just to get a response. He constantly does this to Evie too, who screams nicely for him after the first kiss. However Mom wasn’t biting on the baited hook, and ignored him, so he got irritated and kept saying "Tell me to stop! Tell me to stop!". "Why?" I asked. "Because you’re SUPPOSED to!" Therein lies the key. I’m supposed to say the expected response, and then all is right in his world. He needs the guaranteed response to feel secure. It is an odd way of thinking but that is how the Autistic mind works.

     I’m still figuring out how to use this knowledge with other problems that crop up between us, but this understanding is a start.

Sean's Gas Regulators

As all hell breaks loose around me this evening (Daddy at work tonight and the three of them are all at each other; Sky is trying to study, Evie is ripping his notes, Sean is irritating everyone, and Evie also has a suspicious smell coming from her hind section), I add a drawing of Sean's latest obsession, GAS REGULATORS.

The drawing is quite detailled and I'm sorry it presents so small here.  He lives and loves and breathes (well not literally thank God) natural gas regulators these days.  He muses about all the houses we pass by in the car...do they have gas furnaces or gas stoves, and thereby a regulator too? 

What do you think about that house Mom?  I don't know.  What about that one there?  I don't know.  (I don't care).  Does that house have radiators or vents?  I don't know.  Well what do you think it has?  I don't know, maybe vents.  No, I don't think there's vents because there's no chimney.  (Or something like that). 

So go our conversations some days.  Tonight he regalled me with gas regulator tales for about 1/2 hour straight, while I was doing dishes and tidying the kitchen.  One sort of learns how to stream it through and mull about what will be for dinner tomorrow night, at the same time as all of this natural gas info comes at one.   It's tedious, and nice when I can sway him off on another topic, but I'm not always successful.  He is Mr. Focus when he wants to be...mostly when I don't want him to be!

Well the mayhem has died down somewhat, since Skyler took disciplinary measures into his hands.  His latest form of punishment is to lie on top of Sean and keep him immobile, while singing the "Let us pray to the Lord" song from church in his ear.  For some reason that drives Sean crazy, not that Skyler's singing is anything to be joyous about, rather would make one want to pray to the Lord quite desperately I would think.

Evie is smelling better now that I've changed her, Skyler is finished singing, and Sean is back bouncing on his exercise ball.  All is well and I only need to get some treadmill time in before bed.

Needle night (B-12 shot) for Sean I think.

Sean's Winter Carnival (2011, as I'm sure he'll do it again next year)

They had a winter carnival at Sean's school this week.  So guess who had to have a winter carnival at home this weekend?

He had us all sit down for a "family meeting" the other night, so that we (he) could discuss what was going to happen.  We were allowed to ask questions, only if we put our hand up though. ("Skyler PUT YOUR HAND UP!")  We were able to choose teams (little choice, I chose Evie, it would just be easier) which left Bob and Sky as teammates.  We were each assigned a colour and a list of the events we would be participating in.  He had lists and notes and construction paper "ribbons" cut out for each of us to wear taped to our coats.

So far, so good.

The following night he put a sign out in the tenant's hallway, inviting them to another Winter Carnival meeting, and was a little miffed that no one came.  I tried to reassure him that our tenants really weren't the sporty type, and they probably would rather stay in, be warm and laugh, I mean watch, us through their windows.

So Saturday arrived, the appointed hour, and dutifully (and in order to prevent any tantrums) Bob and Skyler bundled up in -15 weather and went outside.  I got a repreive because Evie was sleeping.  Sean, unfortunately made them stay outside longer, because he hadn't gotten anything set up!  So a little more time spent while he set up his "stations" and then they participated in their required 4 events while Sean monitored.

OK I have just tried inserting some pictures, and it isn't letting me put them in, so I'll just have to continue the narrative and try later.

Sunday was my turn. And it was about 5 degrees colder.  But sunny.  But windy too.  With all of that, we actually had some fun.  And Evie did really well with it.  Our "balloon" run was a little contrived...Sean had no balloons, so we just had to "pretend".  The toboggan pull was made amusing because we don't have a proper toboggan, just a baby sled...fine for Evie but a little crunched for space with Skyler!  The "fill the bucket with snow" event was a little unfair as all of the buckets were of vastly different sizes, but we managed.

In the end, we made good puppets for Sean to practice his executive skills (the bossing around skills I mean) on, and we all got some (very) fresh air and Vitamin D on the minimal parts of our bodies that were exposed!

I'll try those pictures again....

Sean's Letter to Mom

I received this letter from Sean awhile ago....

"Dear Mom,

"In French today I told H. to go up to Ally and say 'Ally hup hup hup' and H. said no, then E. said 'Ally hup hup hup'.  After French at lunchtime I stayed in Mr. McN's classroom to talk about nice things to say to people and mean things to say to people.  And at recess I said to T. that she is gross and then I had to walk with Mrs. R.  And when the bell rang I stayed with her to go back to class.

I wrot (sic) letter to tell you what I did today."


(Sigh)  Just another day at school with Seanie!

Suffice it to say we have been working on the "Nice Things To Say" list at home....

More of Sean's Artwork

Our boy is in Love

Yes, our son is in love, but not the son you would think of!  It's Sean, and we've recently figured out that he is just enamoured with one of his classmates at school.

He has been talking about this girl a lot recently.  We'll call her Ally, just for privacy purposes.  Sean brought home his class picture recently and showed me Ally.  She is the most beautiful girl in the class!  Our boy has taste, I'll guarantee you that.  I asked him if Ally likes him.  "Oh she doesn't talk to me" Sean says, and he isn't sad about it, just matter-of-fact. "Do you think she's beautiful too?" he asks me.  He's never cared what I've thought about ANYTHING before!  He is in love!

Unfortunately for Ally, Sean doesn't know what to do with this emotion.  He gets all wiggly and excited when he sees her, and I asked if he talks to her.  "Why don't you just say hi?" I say.  "I do," he responds.  But it comes out more like "Hi-Ally-Hi-Ally-Hi-Ally-Hi-Ally-Hi-Ally...." over and over again until she goes away.  One day, he told me, he sniffed her hair.  She thought he'd kissed her, and promptly told the teacher.  Sean thinks it was funny, and keeps talking about it.  He calls her "Beauty" and likes to touch her neck.  He says he likes to just look at her too.  All a little disconcerting for poor Ally I'm afraid.

As parents, we see there could be an opportunity to encourage Sean to develop some social skills.  Ally is certainly a motivation for him.  I drop suggestions of nice things he could say, and have written to the teacher about it, but not sure if there'll be any success.

Part of me is just thrilled that my boy has a "normal" emotion like this.  Part of me feels sad for him that he can't get fulfillment from a friendship, and part of me is just plain scared for his future in the wild world of teenage friendships and dating.  Girls at high school will not likely take kindly to his attention, and it'll be a job to teach him how to be social without invading personal space.  Plus, by that time, we'll be dealing with hormones too.

But for the moment, he is just happy telling me about Ally, and his sweet puppy love.  Never thought it would happen, really.  What a guy.

This from the boy who was 7 years old before he told me he loved me, and has never done it since.

The Picture of Autism

This is Sean, at 4 years old, on holiday in Honduras in 2005.  I call this a good picture to represent what Autism can be, because it shows Sean completely engrossed in the padlock on the door, instead of noticing the beautiful, colourful Macaw beside! He was absorbed in that lock for quite awhile.  Happy too.  His speech therapist used to give him a box of locks to play with as a reward for completing a productive session.  We haven't had to do that in awhile, but he still enjoys his locks....

Sean's Drawings

Sean loves power and electrical boxes.  He created a HUGE schematic recently, which must have taken him ages to draw out.  This is only one part.

Below, a copy of my birthday card from him.

And he painstakingly made drawings of the election signs he'd see on his way to and from school.  These were all done from his memory, and they're pretty accurate.  There's a few spelling errors but what amazes me is that he remembers exactly what graphics are used.  His visual acuity is so good.

 Below, another schematic of a power box, with accompanying wiring!

He will draw people sometimes, never animals unless it's Lola as part of a family drawing, but mostly he works with his obsessions....wires, lights and piping.  I have to find a sample, but he can draw a stair in isometric projection, and loves to draw plans of houses too, although they're a little convoluted, and have ENORMOUS utility rooms!

Just a sampling of what comes out of his mind.

More Home Hijinks

Sean is inside a big tube meant as a crawling tunnel.  The boys set it on end, and filled it with balls and balloons (both in plentiful supply at our house...one can't help but trip on these especially on a midnight trip to the bathroom...) and one child of course.  They tried putting Evie in it, but she wasn't too impressed being down inside "the hole".  I'm not sure where they were trying to go with this, but I guess when you tipped over, it was amusing.

Evie in her jammies, "helping".....

and later being thrown around by her Daddy!

Sean's unique style of play usually involves a lot of wires, lights, strings, occasional locks, and so on.  Being a 3M family, there's a fair bit of tape around here, and that gets incorporated into his play also.  A couple of pictures of some of his latest endeavors...

This is what greeted me when I came into the bathroom one day....

...and this is how he fixed up Evie's kitchen set.  (I'm still trying to remove these!)  Note also the dial notations in permanent marker which he did a few years ago, when the kitchen was his).

It is always interesting to see where Sean's play goes, but there is usually a fair bit of clean-up involved as well, so Mummy is not always so thrilled to have him be so creative.

Next week, when I get pictures downloaded, I'll share some of his drawings and such, particularly the "She'll be coming around the dryer when she comes" sketch.

On Sean

Sean is our middle child, our high functioning Autie.  That's a name that I picked up from some Autism chat group, and I like it.  I don't like saying he is Autistic, because that, for me, conjures up an image of a child very unlike our boy.  Yes, he does have a diagnosed condition of mild to moderate Autism.  Some days it's more moderate than mild, in my opinion.

The other night for example, he got himself into one of those endless loops.  I don't know if other Auties experience this, but he gets into a non-stop question mode, which he just can't get out of.  I'm okay with answering a kid's questions, but when the question is the same one, over and over again, it gets a little wearing.  He was asking me "Where did you hide the suckers?"  I am guilty of hiding them from him, because he has little self-control, and even though these were relatively healthy (no gluten, limited sugar, etc. etc.) I still found he would eat too many and get weird.  So away they went.

And no, I didn't tell him where they were. And he kept asking.  And asking.  I stopped answering early on the the 20 minutes and started telling him over and over that we were done.  Probably not the best strategy, so I switched into complete silence.  He only got more frustrated and started to swat at me.  I held him back, and then it came.....


"LET GO OF MY F___ING HAND!" And I was so startled that I did!

Our little Sean, with his ususual prosody of speech, his child-like tone, with a suddenly rather grown-up phrase erupting outof his mouth.  I know he hears it at school, but I guess I am somewhat relieved that at least he KNOWS it's a bad word, can distnguish between words that are OK to use and others that aren't.  It may seem like a simple concept, but not always to someone with Autism.

I'm not sure how I will handle it.  We didn't discuss it at the time, (bad timing when he's upset), and I expect I will bring it up with the behaviour consultant next time she is around.  It does make me realize how he is growing up. He is 10 now, and the next decade is going to bring some changes, hopefully not the hell that we went though in his first five years though.

I already notice a maturity with Evie, how he helps her, shows her things, and plays the big brother role.  He still teases her, hides toys and touches her eyelids (see photo in last post), but overall he has come a long way since she has joined our family.

He will always be our little guy, but we've got to also start making room for the young man that is emerging, swear words and all.